"Leave the liars alone, for they are just a waste of time. But destroy those who believed in every words that would come out of the liars mouth, for they are much more worst than the liars..."
I am a nobody, you have a problem with that? I enjoy being a nobody, I am happy with this... but it looks and feels like that I am not just a nobody to you. For you always speaks and talked about me behind my nobody back with the others like you, who sees themselves as being a somebody. And because of that it seems that I have become somewhat, being more than just a nobody to you. Else, I would just be ignored and not being talked about and be forgotten? I am not even close to you and most I don't even really knows who you are, yet it seems like you knows who I am, in and out. I am very much flattered by that... me being a nobody... And I thank you for that... Giving me all that attentions... really, I don't need those. I just like to be a nobody...
But I always find myself in the spotlight, even if I didn't want to. In truth, I really hate to be in that place. It is not I, who put myself in that position but I couldn't helped it if some others placed me there... me being a nobody. I always tend to be just who I am, a nobody. Do what I can do, which a nobody would normally do. But you, being a somebody. You always like to attract my attention, me being a nobody... Please, I beg you! Don't waste too much time with me. For I, being just a nobody, would just ignore you. For you are a somebody. I am much much more lower than you are... So, please stop flattering me... It's killing me!
Why would you always like to compare me to the likes of you who are a somebody, when I am just a nobody to you? We could never be the same for I am just a nobody. I cannot be compared to the likes of you, who sweat a lot to be somebody, I rather do things my way, the nobody way... now, off you go...
Hmm... Why are you are still here? Do you need something from a nobody like me?
I'll just tell you something, if that's what you like... I enjoy looking my nobody self in the mirror, why? For, I find happiness in seeing my nobody reflection in the mirror. I am content for I know that the one I see in front of me is this nobody me. And I would continue to be happy and not change that nobody into somebody, for that would not be the nobody me anymore, if I change that reflection of me into somebody. Now, I ask you... What do you see when you try to look yourself in the mirror?... What?... It scared you?, Why?... Ah' you are afraid of seeing your face? ah' it's not that? Sorry... So... What is the reason?... WHAT!!! Because you don't cast any reflection in the mirror?... Now, now, don't get panic over that one... I'll tell you why... No!... you are not a vampire, you dumbass! haha... You don't cast any reflection because... Well, there is none to cast in the first place, for you are... NOTHING!
^_^ Geez, and you thought that you are a vampire all this time... ahaha! Aren't we stupid? ^_^
Here I am, six feet under the ground... Well, maybe it's much more deeper than that... For I had been trying hard to crawl back to the surface for more than 3 years now... after being laid under the ground by the evilness of this world... I had somewhat been thinking while lying here... What if I am only dreaming now? And all this is nothing but just an illusions...
Somehow, my dark heart still beats slowly and keeping me alive. And from where I was laid... that, from time to time, I could hear voices and the scenery would be shown in front of me... this is all but an illusion too, but to vivid for it to be unreal... As if somehow I was already back on the surface I once knew... But this can't be real, for humans doesn't seems to act like one... So, I must still be dreaming and still trapped under...
I tried to search for those which are somehow been engraved to the very farthest corner of my mind now... and also the places which I am most familiar with...
So, where would they be now?
I tried looking at all known places I could think of, but it's strange to be this place now. Somethings have changed but somehow it still had the same appearance. It's a gloomy dark places to been in, even at noon time and everything is bright. It's clean but some foul odor is emitting somewhere and being carried by the wind... Flowers are too perfect, like it's artificially made out of plastic but not. If it's real then how come there's no smell coming out of them?... And the habitants are somewhat a bit too odd... Everyone seems to act... well... too perfect in every movement they make and the way they talk... I say, everyone seems to be acting way too human to be one... and the faces doesn't seems to have any other expressions but only the one you would see in them... I tried conversing to some of them, but somehow it makes no sense of the words that would come out of their mouth...
No sense at all, as if all had a tongue of a holy being... others preached but somehow they are only preaching themselves with the words they speak... And words would come out but their own words doesn't reach there own ears... I laughed so hard for it's somewhat really funny to see them, acting so wise but too dumb to understand their own words... I feel... I could really die now...
Maybe, I shouldn't think of dying that time... For I am now back again to where I started, under the ground... silence once again engulfed me... maybe I should just try to crawl some more...
Seems like I'm making no progress here... like I'm still at the same exact spot where I started crawling... but maybe not... And very soon I will rise again and stand my ground, before the sleeping lake of fire once again take over and reign this world... to see this world one last time with my very own eyes, to my own liking like before. But leaving everything behind me now and creating a new beautiful scenes for my last stage.
So, don't die before me. After all, you got nowhere to go, for this world is the very hell itself that you have made me accustomed to. Will you be able to adopt to this? I doubt you will...
私は私の墓にあなたを呼びます。
終わり。
Asking a lot of questions, which most of the time the answers are already in your face. Though you always know that it is already there, you still ask this question. Why? 'cause you never bother to understand what is already shown in your face. Why do you ask such question, when you wouldn't understand even when I already answered this question time and time again Or doesn't even have the idea of what is being shown to you? I think we can understand each other if we are on the same league.
Maybe you are on a higher league than I am. But I don't care about your league 'cause it's where you belong. And I belong on my own. You ask me who am I?, Do you think that would help you understand who I really am? I have much better things to say though I wouldn't bother to say these things for you wouldn't understand what I am about to say.
And now, I'm just going in circle again with what I am saying here... ^_^
Anyway...
Maybe you think that you know such things about my league, but in reality it's somewhat complicated. It never is, just like life is. Or this world and its habitant. To be humble and you'll be belittled by most, to say a bit more and you'll be seen as an arrogant being. You'll never know where to place yourself in this fucked up world...
How do you see humans with your own eyes? I bet, you think that you are always much better than the rest, now I say that you are beginning to be a real human being by that attitude. You think you are better at judging other beings than the rest, and so am I? Everyone is... It is in our nature to be like that.
We are all animals trying to survive in this world... though we wouldn't like to be called that or in that category and doesn't like the idea that most of the time we are much more worst than the other animals. Most of the time we stink really bad but doesn't really knows it or are really not bothered by the smell 'cause you are already used to that odor that you have? ^_^;
I think, uhm... what is that smell? woah! I think I better head to the showers now! ^_^;
This blog is a part of The Church of St. John The Evangelist section I am doing out of boredom ^_^;. This church is located in Tanauan City, Batangas here in the Philippines. You could visit the the stations at the backyard of this church almost anytime during the day... I think...
I
had been visiting this part of the church with some my cousins who are
much older than me during those time when I was still innocent and to
this day at the time of this writing... They are still much older than
me hehe...
Somewhat I miss those time and scenery and wanted to see that part of the church again... It`s been a long time since the last I saw or visited the church here... Well, with the exception of now and then family funeral mass and it would really not be the right time to walk around the church isn`t it? Anyway... to continue...
So, what I did this morning was to annoy my niece who was watching tv at that time to come with me and visit the backyard of the local church. Upon hearing that I wanted to go there, she laughs and made fun of me and my idea... If only you really knows me for so long or that you are really one of my closest friend then you`ll either be surprised or won`t believe it... some crazy idea comes popping out of my mind now and then... but to some who doesn`t see the real me, they`ll see it as just normal to have an interest in going to church ^_^;.
What I
have here is a collection to some of the images that I had taken
earlier this morning with my two devilish niece... A few notes, which I
like to share here... The Stations of the Cross are usually depicted as
only of 14 series which ends the station when Jesus was buried, but
here in the Philippines where most are Roman Catholics, and although
not part of the the traditional sets, it consisted of 15 stations with
the Resurrection of Christ as being the last... Now, how did I know
that? from wikipedia, read this section for more info ^_^;. Those devilish niece of mine says it`s 12 hehe...
And for the time being, I could only show the 14 stations `cause I ran out of memory from taking extra shots with those two in it and ended not including the resurrection...
I could say that this section is still incomplete for now...
My vox section of the Stations of the Cross for the other images...
It`s been for quite some time now since the last time I posted a blog... well, nobody cares really...
The first month of this 2008 seems to be a very busy start of the year for me... I kinda like the sound of that... it feels like my whole year will be busy this time unlike last year which seems to be like I could really wanna die out of boredom and shits stuffed that happens during the last couple of month of 2007, besides that I don`t have a computer to tinker with except with this 166mhz... besides being old... the ps/2 port are somewhat screwed up and I could not find a spare serial mouse type at some or almost all pc shops... I had to content myself with using the mousekeys and it`s really ackward to use... but the good thing about it is I kinda learned/knows almost all of the shortcut keys from windows which are somewhat cool... and I kinda been used to it that even though there`s a mouse I could use at some other computers I could get my hands on, that I would still be using shortcuts... I think it`s much faster than moving and clicking the mouse...
Anyway... I celebrate my x-mas and new year back home in BF with my mom and a couple of old friends... same old xmas stuffed and scenario... drink till the sun start to rise... and New Year`s are somewhat different... I always used to watch Igor lights up all the firecrackers we had during New Year eve, but this time there`s no firecracker but instead it was replaced by his fire poi? forgot what it`s called, but it`s nice to watch him err... with some other kids who gathers around ignorant (I think I`m also one of them hehehe...) of what the heck he is holding and doing some exhibition with it and some extra fire breathing talent... The kids are in awe... They kinda like watching him than all these firecrackers around us... after that both of us went back to our own home and afterwards I went to some friends house and had some drinking session... During my holiday stay there err... it was a bit ok... It`s not what it used to be... but what I really like when staying there is that I`m able to go and hang out at some bar in BF with Francis hehehe... Good thing we where able to do that at least once before I went back home to the province...
Well... back here at some province again...
The
first thing I did when I went back here was bought some paint at some
hardware store and so I could paint my room for the new year, So my
room would be or feel somewhat new too. I painted it with violet, why?
uhm... well, I like to paint it with that color...
After that paint project, for my next one... I went back and forth to manila for some stuff so could make my other computer work again, I was supposed to do this before the 2007 end but I was being to lazy to look for parts back then. And now I was finally able to run this Fedora without much of a hassle from some of my hardware, thanks to yum and the other repo site like livna and those extras from fedora itself that I was able to install and set up my video card and some other stuffed(including the tv tuner I had) with ease unlike before... It`s been a week from now since and much of the settings are a ok... I was able to finally make the saa7130 tv tuner to work the other night from fedora...
So, that`s about it for my First month of this 2008 year...
It’s a sad day for me, I didn’t expect this… My Leah and Mogi died unexpectedly late this afternoon… Both of them just suddenly fell silent beside me and Ayu after a loud lightning strike somewhere around the area… err… Leah and Mogi is my other box I used, a dual boot system. Leah being my router and a firewall at the same time and Mogi is my win2k box, yup… They are both computers…^_^; so, anybody wanna lament with me and give me a spare of their old motherboards and maybe some extra processor? as they are kinda old now… I think I’ll be upgrading to a new one instead of returning them from the land of the dead… soon, but not that soon! I’m already missing both of them so very much! *sigh* ^_^;
There’s been a typhoon here in the Philippines since the other day, There is only one lightning strike I heard this afternoon and that one lightning killed them both though it was far from our area but it was really loud… But due to the power surge and spikes that it ‘caused… Man, I should have remember that I was in the province and on higher grounds than in Manila… poor cabling and shitty stuffed around here… and the ground to the electricity was not that good enough… Last year, I told them to let someone check the wiring and the ground around the house…As I’ve noticed that the grounds here are a little bit strong/high, I’ve kinda noticed that it was really a bit much higher than back home in the city as I was usually being grounded most of the time when fixing my computers which never happens to me when I am at the city, there are times that even the casing would ground you whenever you touched them…
So, that’s about it for this one… It’s a little bit quiet and sad around here at the moment but glad that Ayu is still around to keep me company… and a bit cautious now, as there are no Leah to protect us at the moment… ^_^;
Anyway… just a reminder… to me! ^_^;
Might as well turn off and pull the plug off of your computer or television sets when there is a thunder storm in your area… especially that I’m on higher grounds where the lightning could strike really low… yeah! A one in a million chance that the things I just said would happen to you… I’ve kinda said that to myself, now I’m crying over my Leah and Mogi, and now… the rain started to pour hard again, and I’m still online with Ayu, I never learned ^_^; Might as well finished this one fast… Even if you have surge protector there would be times that even it could not protect you… and I’ve read somewhere that even an unplugged laptop which only runs on its battery is not safe, as long as it’s connected to its cable… yup… Cable, Modem attached to a phone line are some that would likely be the ‘cause of your computers death when there is a lightning… uhm… I think my external modem is the ‘cause of my Leah and Mogi’s death, or the cable, I don’t know which one but It must have been the modem as I forgot to turned it off… and all it’s light going crazy when I did… Ayu, my other pc is not affected at all… ‘Cause the modem is not connected to her nor the cable… but the power outlet could also be the cause, mind you… Even humans can store and charge up enough static to ‘cause trouble when you are fixing your boards, that’s why we usually would ground ourselves before touching and fixing anything from our board… Now… I know now why the company I worked with before that creates microchips wouldn’t let us in the company if we don’t take our shoes off and change to our required sandals/flip-flops and wear a plastic to cover our feet ^_^;
Anyway… just be on the safe side… Turned everything off and unplugged everything when there’s a thunderstorm, it won’t last forever… Well, if you are currently at the office, you might just as well ignore this one as the company will probably replace the computer when this happens hehe… ^_^;
You’ll never know what hits you! But, I do know what hits me… My stubbornness to follow a simple rule about pre-cautions when there is a thunderstorm…
Now…
Now… *sigh and hugs the other lifeless monitor of Leah and Mogi*
Waaaahhh!!! ^_^;
So, We waited… me and my so-called sister waited for the bus to arrive at the bus station. And while waiting I notice this two vendor guys, err… The one who always carry what they would sell… like mineral waters and chips and jumping in and out of the bus that would pass by… Whatever… How can I not notice them, they where so noisy while running back and forth between those other passenger waiting there… others are really quite annoyed at what they are doing but couldn’t do anything or say anything… Why should they? Those guys looks like hooligans… and by their dress…. Much worse… Those guys wanted attention… When they see some good looking females, they would go around and play near that person… So, most of the people that are waiting in there kinda moved to the place where we are standing… And with that… the vendor guys… Damn these guys for I think they are enjoying what they are doing… And doesn’t really care if the people are irritated at what they are doing… And they would say things at the person when they noticed she/he is annoyed/irritated by them… And as I say, the others moved to where my sister and I are… And so, are they… Damn it… Now I’m the one they noticed… for my face shows I’m really irritated… How can I not be? I just woke up a couple of hours ago… and had to stand at this crazy bus stop… It’s annoying already with all the noise of the vehicles passing by and there are still no bus coming for half and hour now… and some of these people are gathering around me… I don’t like crowds really… but these guys thought I was irritated because of them… Now… saying things at me… from a couple of feet away… I hear the other says, “I can beat this guy…” Try that… I said to myself… Now… Why would I not hate this fucked up world? So many individuals are really up to no good most of the times… You would know this, if you were foreigners who had visited this country… heh! I don’t know what’s so interesting about that… I’m not a foreigner… but I don’t really care much if I see one walking the streets… to me, everyone is just the same… I don’t care really… mind your own business… but others would really be in your business around here… most would do anything to have your attention and if you ignore them? They would say things or do things and even sometimes would want a fight with you ‘cause you just ignore them… crazy! Well, better be careful when you want to answer them back… most come in group of vendors… and they don’t really care whether they are right or wrong… It’s not in their vocabulary… ^_^;
Anyway… enough about that…
I think some can relate to this next topic I had… I had a few conversations with my father in the van with the driver a couple of days ago while on our way to somewhere… I’m really not in the mood to go out that day really… Why? ‘Cause I haven’t had my sleep yet… as I was awake all night in front of my computers… I told him that next time he should have noticed me a day so I can be aware of the situation… and fixed my schedule… He said that I should have to sleep during the night… well… I think your known world had just passed… It much more different nowadays like in your old days… there are works that are going on during the nights unlike before, well… if you where living in the province you wouldn’t know that change right? ^_^; I really hate the province… It’s a city now, this place where I am right now… but far from the city I really grew up with… both being called a city but still much different from each other… Yes, there are a lot of Internet café around here… from 8am-7pm at most… yeah… Anyway… people around here kinda wonder at what I am doing in my room and not going out… only when I ran out of cigarette would I go out and they would see me… or If I needed some things that I had to go to the grocery store… ah’ I really missed home and my room in the city really! And I’m usually sleeping during the day… And I would wake up uhm… maybe after the sunset ^_^; People around here doesn’t seems to known a person with a body clock like that ^_^ yah! Keep on wondering… Seems strange to them… back home in the city… 8pm Is just the start of the day for me and my friends… but here at the province… It seems like it’s really late to them… boring really… most are really going to bed at this time… and I’m just out of my bed doing some stretching heheh ^_^; 0h’ better run to the store and buy a pack of my cigarette ‘cause it’s about to close at 9pm… even the store closed that early around here…
My aunt kinda annoyed me and the people around here ‘cause they always gets on my nerve always telling about me being in front of the computer… And others think they knows everything about the computers, when they only knows so little about its world… It’s not just a computer for typing and printing something… It’s the future… a vast world… hmm… kinda reminds me of something… at some late night CNN shows… I forgot what the theme is all about but the subject is about this 3D thing with games and the movie…anyway… one of the speaker tells a story about something that he and his son/daughter doesn’t get to have some quality time to have a conversation or something like that and that he/she is always in front of the computers… And a friend of him suggested that maybe he (the father) should create an account at some messenger and just talk to his daughter/son there… ^_^; and it works… My point is… though I doesn’t go out most of my time, that doesn’t mean I’m just staring at my computers and playing games… even if I’m just playing games… It’s not just a game to me… maybe I’m still hanging out with some friends back home and having some fun with them though we are miles apart… I remember this that even one time… back home while I was online at my messenger that I get to talks to one of my friend who’s already in the states and he asked me what I’m doing right now… And I said “drinking some beers” and he said to wait just a minute and he came back with a can of beers ^_^; we’re still doing what we do together when he’s still here in the Philippines even if we’re online… the only thing we couldn’t do was kick each others ass ^_^ but it still is cool…
Now, back to my father telling me that I should sleep at night… I don’t sleep at night… I’m always been like this since I was in young… I’m beginning to think that I was born at a wrong country with a wrong time zone as my body clock differs from where I am ^_^; I’m usually much more active during the nights… when I’m at the office working from 8am-6pm, I’m much more productive during the later hours… mostly when the sun’s about to set…
There are times when some friends wanted to hang out at some bars near our place… We would usually be home before the sunrise… Uhm… other times the sun would caught us, yup… especially if we are hanging at some female friends house for a sleep over… err… usually we don’t sleep really… we still continue our drinking when we get to the house ^_^; Man, we feels like vampires when going home during the day, as the light of the sun really hurts our eyes… We would run to the door of the car covering our face as if we are like being burned by the heat… and it’s only 7am ^_^;
There are times when I wake up late at night that I’m like a possessed person that I would automatically get out of my bed in be in front of my computers and do this and that… ^_^; back home in the city, I don’t stand up but just reach the keyboard as I just dragged my pc next to my bed most of the time… ^_^ I’m lazy really…. I even had a friend who would forget to change his office clothes first before going in front of his pc, yup… I went to his house one Saturday morning and found him dressed in his office clothes and I asked him if he had his work today… and he looked and laugh at me and said “Nope, I’m still wearing this clothes since yesterday! I still haven’t sleep yet :D”
So, even with all these stories they still wouldn’t understand me really and nobody really knows me … nobody really is, even my so-called relatives and family… maybe a handful of friends, my mom and her daughter… but the rest… Why waste my time on people who had no time and are totally selfish… Who hears things when they are deaf? Who sees things clearly but are blinds? Who like to looks at the mirror always but couldn’t see their own face…
I want the world to change to my own liking but the world is too
stubborn to listen to my own little voice… but that doesn’t mean I have
to follow the world… I’ll have to be interested first, you know… I’m
also stubborn most of the time ^_^;
I’ve written the title of this section an hour ago and just started to write the main section just now… I’m really bored, I somewhat been losing my interest with the computers as I can’t think of anything else to do with it… Everything seems to be just the same to me nowadays… Ahhh!!!… Oh’ well, might as well revisit my old past memories of the very first time I had my encounter with the computers...
My First Computer
The very first computer I had was this Atari 400 model??? Err… Can’t remember the exact model name as it’s back home and I kinda had this during the early 80’s, I just had to update this when I visit back home… It really is only a keyboard with cartridge on top of it for the game cartridge to be inserted like the “Pac-Man” and “River Raid” game. It’s much like those playstation or xbox which you just attached to your television set and play except for its keyboard and this cassette player that you attached to it, this cassette is acting as its floppy, where you can record your data, you just had to remember the counter number where you record the data in the cassette, much like what we used for some old server to back up data called tape drive…. This Atari kinda introduced me to the world of computer programming as there’s some programming manual including with it like “Introduction to Basic”, “Introduction to Graphics” and “Introduction to Sounds”. Man, how very happy I am just to see how I could plot the screen just by following the manual ^_^; I could draw some stick man on the screen using this language, and then I could add some sounds to it afterwards… ok… ok… I think I better move on to the next one ^_^
286
The next one I had for a computer was this 286 that my mom bought from the office, with this two 3.5 floppy inch disk drive that was attached to it… and you can’t use it without first booting it with DOS… My friends and I used to brag at each other when one of us had a higher version of dos, or one of us had this 1.44m 3.5 inch disk drive. Or later if the computer had a hard disk ^_^, and much later on if it had this windows 3.1 installed to it hehe… We used to play a lot of dos game back then especially this dos version of the NBA basketball game (I forgot the name) and we would attach the pc speaker to this component of my friend though its sounds are only Toink! Toink! Toink! ^_^ But we are really happy that it’s loud and much deeper than without it hehe… And while playing we would do a bet on something while playing this basketball game in the pc, I think someone bet his precious comics collection to Ronald and lost… Was the name of this someone happens to be BJ ALLEN ZAMORA??? LOL, reminds me of something… not related to this though… I think he also lost his playstation to Ronald? Yah! I know this one but I kinda forgotten too how that playstation ended up in my hands, I get to finished the Final Fantasy 7, 8, 9 series on that one ^_^; Well, I don’t have it now! If you want it back… I think Ron sold it already a couple of years back hahaha!!! Now, to this 286… Back then, your computer is really a hot rod if you had this green monitor attached to it and later on the colored monitor… some of the few games back then worth mentioning are, which I think are really cool… This Rouge Game, err.. If I remember correctly this game monster is only identified as just being a character, yup… No fancy graphics… where “@” would equal to something like a really strong monster? That would be really scary back then ehehe… Anyway… The Magic Candle Series and this Prince of Persia… I really got hooked to playing those two games especially the Prince of Persia… I even did cracked that program so I would be able to play it as Neil kinda messed up the original copy we had, good thing he had this hard disk copy but the program is still messed up so I had to do something for it to be playable again… I forgot how I was able to fixed it again, I thought those crazy characters are normal back then when I edited them ^_^; How I would play for the whole day with that game and finishing it a couple of times… err… How many times had I finished the game in one day? Beating my best time, last I remember was more or less than 9 minutes… just a continued running and beating the opponent and jumping and finally killing the Vizier in the last stage (He’s the one right, right?) and saving the princess… never really stopping as much as possible… on when you had to draw your sword to fight Or… until my mom would slapped my head cause I wouldn’t answer her hehehe… Ah’ there’s also this cool horoscope program called “Fortune Teller”, but eventually its date doesn’t support the year 2000 ^_^; Y2K? I’ve kinda checked and downloaded this program somewhere off the net a couple of years back, that’s why I know…
Windows, Modem, BBS and Yes… The Internet…
No, computers still doesn’t interest me back then… Not until I had this computer which is Pentium 166mhz with some kind of Video Card and an ALS 100 sound card attached to it and with it is this awesome new Operating System called Windows 95 ^_^; I think it’s called a multimedia computers back then… costing a lot during those times… oh’ there’s also this card called Multimedia card for playing all those video cd? I think that’s why they called it multimedia :P My friend would usually be awed when they would see that I kinda had two video cards attached to my computer when looking at the back casing of my computer… or so they thought… anyway…
I think I was a bit lazy and bored in my room one night when this shorty friend of mine (NEIL!!! HEY!!! :P) suddenly came to visit me with something in his hands… and he gave me this black colored thing and told me to attach it to my computer… This thing is a 28.8kbps Rockwell modem… sweet! Well, that was really sweet and fast back then hehehe ^_^;
To continue… He sat and tinker a bit with my computer setting, I think he did go to the network connection/settings and created a dial up connection ^_^ … I’d forgotten that scenario but to make it short… He somewhat had hacked an account at some Internet Service Provider, is it ok to tell that ISP Name here? Err… I better just leave it be ‘cause I think they just change their company name besides… I still had this nightmare about something which really scared me, It seems so very real hehehe… but it kinda always reminded of The Terminator movie ^_^… And so, we where able to browse the Internet for free… but it kinda not interest me at that moment… and Igor is really the one who introduced me and had my first experience of the internet (why you always had to be included in my blog? hehehe). ‘Cause he’s the one who really had this first legal account back then… He’s the first one to have an internet account and the net was really not that really in a boom yet, right? Right? He and I (Igor) would usually surf the net at their house for some something and anything that would interest me but usually we kinda always ends up in some gore gallery and with that we would lost our appetite to eat hehehe… Anyway, this is the really fun stuffed for me back then… He told me about the Bulletin Board System (BBS) thing and gave me a couple of numbers to dial using the terminal… War Dialing was it still being used today? Nope, I don’t know that… I just read it somewhere… so, where was I? I was finally able to hook up at this Toyota Motor Company branch which is located near our place, I was kinda a regular client there… I mean that I would usually connect at their Wild Cats BBS and download some of Alicia Silverstone pic ^_^; I think my ratio in upload/download would be 0/10 a day err… more or else hehehe… Well, I also would play this game called Legend of the Red Dragon everytime I would connect to that BBS… It’s really a cool game… BBS is really cool for me up till now… though I haven’t tried connecting to one again…
Anyway… When you are connecting to a BBS… it’s much like the net except it’s really just a text based thing and your time is limited to… uhm… depending on how the SysOp configure their system… 30 minutes seems to be normal… and you could mail other users of that system, post a bulletin, download files, upload, Ah’ before I forgot, might as well say this now… This Legend of the Red Dragon game is really cool as you get to have sex with the other user hahaha… uhm… that’s only between the users game character… well, It could really boost up your experience in the game if the one you asked for accepted your offer… well, you wouldn’t know the answer until the next time you connect, usually that would be the next night as your time really runs out in one connection… Whether that person accepted or rejected you… It’s quite nice when you found out she accepted your request too… uhm… I’m just wondering if there is some female back then that would be into the BBS thing… YIKES!!! Lots of the people I’ve talk to was of the same sex… Man, I don’t know why they would want to talk to me… some would call me during the day and talk about something which I’m bored I remember that even one of the caller, we even get to talk about Kris Aquino ^_^… I gets call ‘cause I also used to be a SysOp, same with Igor… We kinda had our own BBS back then, It’s kinda been a hobby of ours back then… Mine was named “Theatre Des Vampires” yes, after Anne Rice Vampire Chronicles… and Igor’s “Vampires Lair”??? Right? Right? You might want to search the listing of the BBS in the Philippines as I think someone is still maintaining the list… err… The last time I checked, we are still on the list though it’s been long since we operated again… ^_^
We would usually hear each other modem screaming at some late hours of the night ‘cause we usually only turned on the system from 12 midnight till 5am. Some or most of the time… We would connect to each other and annoy each other for a chat with the SysOp… Till he or I would answer… err… just so we could ask each other for a stick of cigarette ^_^; I think I’m the one who usually runs out of stick during the night… and we would meet outside and back in after a couple cigar hehehe… There’s this one time… one of my user called me and are really angry at me ‘cause… err… ‘Cause of the files he downloaded from my system… nope, he didn’t get a virus… but ‘cause of all these pictures he download the other night… It’s all those gory pictures that Igor and I would usually surfed over the web hahaha… I think it really scared the shit out of him… young kid… I think he was looking for something but instead download the other pictures… Well, I found out later when I checked my file area that it was all of Igor’s uploaded pictures with a very well decent and nice comments in each of the pictures files… like “Wow, Legs” when in fact it really is a picture of a bloody cutted female legs or “Awesome Breast” err.. I think you get the picture… no wonder the kid so angry with me LOL ^_^;
I finally was able to be interested somewhere along the way and stop being a SysOp of my BBS and just totally be addicted to the Internet… like chatting at some IRC room… I’d rather prefer the IRC over the YM’ when chatting… yeah right! ^_^; Almost everyone of us from that generation and including my friends started from IRC when chatting… We would usually hang out at some channel that this friend of ours created… err… that would be Neil… He’s also the one who would always be organizing an EB party… Where most of the time we ended up sleeping in his room and Ronald would be vomiting in his favorite boots hahaha… We usually would party at Neil’s house especially when his parents would be going somewhere far away and would be gone for days… We are like the rats of their house, when the cats are away… We party! Anyway… Back to the IRC thing… We would usually talk and chat for awhile including those who are already in the states… then suddenly one of us would be knocked off the channel… How you do that guys? I asked this ‘cause it’s not really a normal boot off and not the Ops… ^_^; It’s annoying how you can’t return at once back to the chat room ‘cause your ghost still roam in there… Still now, I’m still curious about that one… And I can’t forget how Neil would ask one of us, begging us to tell him who erased his entire drive online… I would say… IT’S IGOR!!! Points my finger at him, I suspect he’s also the one booting me off of yahoo messenger, It only happens when he’s online… Something weird would usually happens with my connection once he’s online… I feel like I’m sort of a test bunny for his experimentation… What’s it called? Well, maybe it’s just a thing of my mind hehe ^_^; No wonder everyone are invisible now at YM even though they are online… So, boring… Or is it just my time of going online? ^_^
Well, after all these years, lots have change with the computers but the things you do are somewhat just the same with a different looks and how you do things, but at the end of it all… It is just the same… that is just for me off course. I envy those who are new to the computers as it seems so much fun to them being in front of one, especially watching some of my little niece’s and nephew’s fights over who would be the one to first break my computer (literally). And my computer never look and feel the same way it used to be once they finished err… let’s also include my room on that one. ^_^;
I think I better see Neil again when I get home…Maybe he would be the
one to show me something that would interest me again to enjoy being in
front of the computer… And makes me blow up my motherboard again, yeah
we kinda did that some years back to one of my old computer ‘cause we
kinda over and over and over clocked my processor… well, that won’t be
necessary nowadays, ne? I’d like to see him ‘cause he’s really the one
who like to social eng… err… I mean socialize ^_^; and I’m kinda
wondering what are you up to now? By the way… Neil, I kinda added you
and erased you intentionally after a couple of days at my friends list
‘cause I kinda hate and don’t like the default picture you had posted
in your profile… I don’t trust the face of that picture, with all the
wide smile ^_^ besides, I don’t like your sudden invitation, smells
like a fish hahaha… Sorry about that… And I already had an account
somewhere, so… No need to invite me, I’ll just look for you when I get
home! ^_^
An Introduction…
I have been collecting some Japanese movies and anime for some years now, though most that I bought had been a bit of an accident or by chances when I saw them at store… I’d rather call them self discovering of some sort… I bought them not because I saw them from some television shows, most people would laugh at me when one would see them at my box collection… and makes fun of me… Even the type of music/records I’ve been collecting or playing over my component or pc… not just the JROCK/JPOP but also my other music collections that I’ve been collecting even before I started to be in a band that my friends and I formed way back in the late 90’s… I like to play my music real loud, as “The Cure” would put it in their album “play this music loud”.
I’ve been always in the habit of self discovering what my interest would be… from music, books etc, etc… well, not always… some are introduced by some friends… though there’s a high chance I would totally ignore or forget what is shown to me if I’m not interested, err… Usually I’m not interested… ^_^;
I’ve been influenced by some…
Jon “Slayer” – One of my closest friend, and one of the founder/original member, drummer and bassist of our “Auditory Onslaught” band till he moved/went to the state… and with it our ever struggle to keep the band intact till I and Igor just lost interest keeping the band together… anyway, he’s the one who introduced me to this whole metal/rock scene…I would just categorize the gothic, symphonic, doom, death and everything nice and spicy err… I mean, with metal as “metal/rock” ^_^;
This guy is a big influenced on me on almost anything and my attitude towards everything/anything… or should I just say… makes me even more sinister and darker back then hak! hak! ^_^; Though, I don’t share he’s style of laughter like “Bwahahaha!” I’ll just leave that style of laughing to both of Igor and him… ^_^; I’m the shy type of person you know…
Whenever this guy would to come at our house, he would have a handful of some metal band records from his hands that we would listen to at my room while chatting over something of a dark theme ^_^ hehehe… and with that, I became interested in this type of music, and I find myself collecting these types of music…. For years we would trade and borrow each others collections… now, back then… It was really hard to find a copy of this type of music and it’s even harder to find some info about the bands we like… and the radio are not playing them… So, He and I kinda like to hunt for records label like the “Nuclear Blast”, “Music For Nation” and “Century Media” to name a few, It would be luck if you find one with that type of record label at some record bar, I never pass the opportunity and buy that record without a second thought, just grab it from the shelves and pay… I would usually visit the store once or twice a week, and staying there for an hour or so, searching everything just so I can have a new records to listen to… then my craving would stop for a couple of days… I couldn’t satisfy my craving till I find one and it’s been a trial and error when buying these types of music. Most are really not that worth the money but since we had no choice back then as we couldn’t find a review on things we like to listen to… we kinda just reviewed each other’s collections. Though at some point in time I also began to collect anything that interest me like some classical music from Mozart, Old Rock and Roll… Beach Boys, Simon And Garfunkel, Beatles… etc… etc… Yeah, go laugh at it… But seriously, I kinda had/have a really wide range of taste of interest for music though I find it really hard to have interest in or to like the RNB type of music… Sorry about that…
Igor – Also one of my closest… He’s our band vocalist/guitarist/bassist/drummer uhm… multi talented individuals here… have I missed something? This guy, doesn’t introduced me to anything and doesn’t share anything with me… well, until we talked about it or I would talk about the things that interest me or things I’ve discovered recently and I want to share my new found knowledge and experience with him… Then I would find out that he already knows everything about it… ^_^ crazy…
He let me borrow this black tattered cover book during one of these Christian holiday called holy week when there was still no cable TV, no internet, no cell phone and even phone lines… no nothing… that was the late 80’s or early 90’s? so long for me to remember and during this time there are no television/radio shows aired at the local channels for a week and you are not allowed to play outside or play anything loud or even listen to music… So, you’ll really die of boredom during those/that time… That black book was “The Queen of the Damned” by Anne Rice… And I instantly got hooked reading that book and the Vampire Chronicles… though he already knows I was into vampires and things like that…
Fast forward a couple of years after Jon left for the state, as I was watching something or channel surfing one evening, I came across this concert being shown from this cable channel called wowow, and saw this young female singing…I fell in love with her voice and her song though I couldn’t understand a word she sings ‘cause it’s in Japanese but the title of the song was shown below the screen and it’s called “Endless Sorrow”. And before I knew It, I was watching the whole concert and recording it with my VCR hehehe… I’ve become an instant fan of Ayumi Hamasaki that night. And that kind of started my interest in the JPOP/JROCK scene… Then one afternoon, Igor and I met outside and went to the store for a cigar and some soft drinks… I told him about Ayumi and he laughed and said “Blond ang buhok ano?” (She’s got a blond color hair), What? You already knew about her? And he’s already been into Japanese stuffed long before I even got interested into anime and stuffed like that… Well, as of this day… we kinda traded / borrow each other stuffed… And I’m grabbing anything Japanese especially the horror movies from the video store whenever I could find one… That also includes the Korean horror movies like the “Tale of Two Sister”, "The Phone" ^_^;
What else you have not shared with me but until recently? ^_^ Oh’ the Linux operating system… I think he knows much, much more about this other OS than me… And I didn’t know he’s also into Linux until I saw him online at some late hours of the night at some messenger that I am using besides the Yahoo Messenger with a status of “Testing Different Types of Linux Distro” or something… hehehe… well, He doesn’t shared anything with me but he’s the guy that widened my knowledge on a lot of things… especially with computers… he makes it looks cool at everything he would show me of the things I’ve asked of him… making me much more interested on the things that interest me… besides… I’d rather find things out for myself, making it more exciting…
The Road That Had Been Less Traveled Have Been Discovered….
People would usually, no… that’s not the right word for it… they “always” laugh whenever they would hear me play my music collection, see me watching my Japanese anime VCD, or listening to my JPOP/JROCK… They would usually say or joke around like “oh’ are we in Japan? I think we’re lost…” or “Can you listen to that type of music? It’s just screaming and shouting and noises, you can’t even understand what the lyrics are…” or they would joke around my JPOP/JROCK music by singing/whistling the tune of Voltes V Opening theme, and laugh… But Things are changing now, local channels are showing some of the Japanese Anime dubbed in our own local language like the “Slam Dunk” which are one of the few that really hits to everyone, even the tricycle drivers are stopping by at some store so they can watch it on TV… Utada Hikaru album been released locally in the country so they know a bit of “JPOP” now… Radio Stations are playing a lot of air plays from “Evanescence” so, now you know some more… and most would know “Metallica” now by their album “St. Anger” and loving them while most of us are already cursing them for they already have lost their own identity. Some Ignorant would think the “The Red Hot Chilli Peppers” are a new band hahaha!… I would play this “Within Temptation” or “Leave’s Eye” music and some who hears would say “Oh’ Evanescence?”! ???? Now, Why don’t you just listen to your favorite OPM music… oh’ by the way… OPM stands for ORIGINAL PINOY MUSIC??? What’s so fucking original with that? I can’t stand some of the music in the Philippines being called or labeled as OPM… I don’t see any originality in it… one of the reasons I hate our local music scenes… I would have like some of it… If it’s not for the title of being labeled as OPM… hmm… Anyway… hate me or anything… It’s the fucking truth… I won’t say anything more as some of you might become interested on things or artist I would say here… waah!!!… Go discover it yourself!
Now, I kinda hate talking to these kinds of people as if they know everything there is to know about a certain topic when they’ve been only walking to this road ‘cause they’ve got a map to follow to… I for one doesn’t claimed to know everything about this road though I’ve been walking on this road for years now, and I’m endlessly discovering newer things and rediscovering the old things… I find it much nicer to walk and have a chat with someone new to this road that had discovered it all on his or her own without some guide map to follow… Besides it’s much nicer having a conversation, when both of you are gaining some knowledge and not just a one way… well, I had to end this now… So…
Who’s laughing now? If It’s Igor, it would be something like
“wahehehe!!!”, and Jon would be like “BWaHAHAHAHA!!!”, and I would only
be giggling! ‘cause I’m shy you know!
Every company required you to complete some requirements before you can start your new job like Medical Check-up, NBI, Police Clearance etc, etc…
I would usually start with the medical check-up, go to some clinic that they, the company asked you to go to, I had to be early so I could be the one of the first to be there and finish the check-up early/fast… not!!! It’ll take you a whole day most of the time, even if you are the first one on the line/list… You had to undergo a lot like drug test, blood sample, urine sample etc. etc… I think you’ll be lucky enough if you had your check up at some clinic ‘cause it’ll be much faster but… If you where told to go to at some hospital, I think it would take you a lot of wasted time especially if that hospital is a government one. You had to do this and that first, get lost somewhere ‘cause the laboratory is at some other floor and when you finally able to find that laboratory, you had to wait some couple of minutes, and another couple of minutes ‘cause the attendant/doctor is still not there or still having his breakfast and chatting a bit with his/her co-workers, laughing and laughing and when he/she finally attend to you as if he/she was a bit not in the mood ‘and a bit harsh talking to you cause you are there and are interrupting their conversation or something, now… What the fuck is that? Aren’t they supposed to be there working? As if they only wanted to hang in there and do nothing for the rest of the day… They would ask you this and that… and your done! Finish in 3-5mins, and the time you waited??? 30 minutes or more… damn it! Then after finishing that, you’ll be asked to go somewhere for the next stage of the medical check-up, and where’s that located? Oh’ it’s on the first floor… And where is that on the first floor? Oh’ just ask someone you see down where it is… ah’ ok, thanks…
And so, you go down the stairs to the first floor, it’s for the drug test and urine sample, a lot of people are already there now ‘cause it’s almost been an hour since you first came in, you had to fall in line now, they’ll give you some papers to fill up for that test… and fall in line after finishing filling it up, waiting… and waiting… for a couple of minutes, and another couple of minutes… it seems like the line hasn’t move for some minutes now… already 30 minutes had past once again… and you look at the window, you see only one attendant attending at all this long line of clients and it keeps on getting longer and noisy ‘cause the others are really getting restless now… and you look at the other corner of the room and you can see the other employees sitting at some table next to the divider of the room, they seems to be laughing, they seems to be having fun with their works… but what are they doing? It looks like they are only sitting and having some conversation there with a cup of coffee in their hands… ah’ finally it’s my turn … This guy gave me a bottle and was being told to fill it up with my urine and after doing that returned it to him and I was asked to return a couple of hours for I still needed to have my picture taken, and I told him if it’s ok if I just gave him a picture I had with me? And he said “no, ‘cause it will be taken from the computer camera”, I see, well do I still need to do something after this drug test, he’ replied, “It’s already finished, we only need to take a picture of you”… WHAT? Return here after a couple of hours just so, I can have my picture taken? And I ask this “why can’t I have my picture taken right now?” And he replied “‘cause no one will take your picture now!”… Now, I was beginning to loose my temper now and I think he noticed that and went to the computer and asked me some questions and finally had my picture taken with the camera attached to the computer and It only took a minute or less than that… It was really a quick one… damn those attendant, they would let me wait a couple of hours when it would only be that quick to do… and so, to the next stage of the medical check-up… uhm… usually it’s the same scenario all over again… before you knew it, you’re already done with the medical and just go home after that ‘cause you won’t be able to finish the other requirements ‘cause it’s already past 2 in the afternoon. It’s much better to do next one in the following day, wake up early and be the first on the line ^_^;
The next one you would probably do is get your NBI or Police clearance… So the next day you wake up early and be at some municipality before it opens up at 8a.m. and “again” be the first one on the line… this is just a breeze, it’ll only take you an hour or so, if you are early… all you need to do is fill up some papers and pass it, had your picture taken… uhm… yes, it’s just a quick one… you just had to wait for this government employee to finish his breakfast at his table while chatting with another co-worker… déjà vu… It feels like I’d seen this one before but I couldn’t seem to remember where? ^_^; Anyway, after having done all the fillings-up of the form and the pictures taking while you hold a number in a small blackboard as if you where some sort of a criminal having your picture taken before you went inside to jail, you had to pay at the cashier, and get the stub from the form and you’ll be asked to return in a week to get your NBI or Police clearance (this apply for the new and renewal)… that would be same day, next week… I see… but wait, don’t just leave yet… there’s a rumor going on about that if you want to get your NBI or Police clearance on that same day, you might want to bribe these so-called government employee working at the municipality, maybe a hundred peso bill or two hundred peso bill? I haven’t done this sort of thing so, I’ll just have to wait for next week before I can get my result… but… I’ve seen some do this kind of thing and it works like magic… They’ve got their NBI or Police Clearance that same day, and all they have to do is pay some extra cash and wait some 15 minutes less or so. Now… It makes me wonder, if they can do that, why do we still need or have to wait for a week? When they can process it immediately? This government employee seems to be bored with their works… and usually they don’t smile, most of the time you can see these so-called government employee somewhat rude as if they are mad at you or something when attending to you… it seems or looks like they are acting like a very uneducated individuals ^_^; like they’ve just been hired ‘cause they’ve got some backers whose very big inside that even if they didn’t finished up their high school or haven’t even finished up their elementary ^_^; oh’ well, maybe it’s just my imagination…
SHOW ME THE MONEY!!! I just remember this Jerry Maguire movie… not related to this subject… ^_^
So, What’s next? Give something or thank the person who helped you gets hired in that company once you start your new job, ‘cause without him/her… I think you won’t even have a slightest chance of being hired in there, especially if you didn’t graduate from the some well-known school… Good luck on your new job! Oh’ it’s only for five months? Well, Good luck anyway! ^_^;
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Ayumi Hamasaki Love Updated: Jun 3, 2008
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Recent Comments
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Igor said:
Ako, taga-mariposa. :D Wala naman yung naghanap sa iyo, di na bumalik. read more
on BF???... Mariposa...
hehe...musta mariposa? pag lasing na ulit siguro babalik un ^_^; read more
on BF???... Mariposa...